Shouldn't
by Chiel
Summary: [Angst, Lucycentric] It was a life that shouldn't have been.


Disclaimer: Ah… I own nothing.

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Slowly, after standing there, facing off with the small army, for what seemed like forever, Lucy let herself go, knees no longer strong enough to support her, she fell to the ground in the most graceful, eerily beautiful way possible. All the burning pain left her – the fire that kept her going. She let her body slump forward, hair overhanging her eyes…

_It felt so good, her body decided, to give in to the force pushing her down. She had fought it for so long, killing nameless people, escaping death on several occasions, letting it slowly grow until it overcame her. _

_What was all that effort really for?_

_The person she'd done this for hated her with all his heart. She had taken another girls love from her, and taken yet another's weak resemblance of a family._

_All for her pleasure?_

_Surely she did not mean to do this – she was confused._

_Was that excuse enough?_

_She, too, had suffered. Lost half of her life to a girl, to a girl whose memories she would never remember, a girl whose feelings, whose personality, everything, was lost to the real half._

_But they didn't understand. Never would, never could._

'_Never should,__'__ Her mind told her firmly, 'Never should have deal with this. Never should know such hatred. Such a passion. Never.'_

_She was her own worst enemy. Her own downfall. _

"Lucy!" Came the cry from the obvious leader in this mission, "We are here to take you away. We will not hesitate to shoot, and we have orders to kill if necessary. If you value your life, you will stay where you are."  
The speech was obviously rehearsed, and the power he tried to put in his voice?  
All Lucy heard was a weak man playing pretend.

_She couldn't live normally, could she? Couldn't live without killing, without violence, without that hatred._

_Many people had visited her whilst she was caged. Standing, nervously, behind the bright line, the line dividing her lonely, sad existence, from their world. They would talk; talk of all kinds of things, trying to assess her mentality._

_It never worked._

_No one had actually spoken _to_ her. Trapped as she were, she could not speak, could only nod weakly – even then the gesture was barely noticeable._

_Many times she had wanted death, urged it to claim her body, take her away. She could never do that to herself. Never. She could take other lives in the blink of an eye, ruining family, after family, after family._

_Then there was that part of her mind, the one justifying it all._

_Telling her that if she couldn't have a family, why could they?_

_How she envied those with perfect lives. With a mother and a father who would love them, care for them, protect them, and teach them._

_Loved? Hardly. Very few thought to care of her, and then protection came in, keeping her safe, her mind teaching her the tricks she needed. That person she tried to keep down, in a sealed pocket of her mind. Until the torments of everyday life overcame that seal, setting free the person within._

_There was, indeed, a big difference between those lives. More-so, a big difference between the murderer and the murdered_

_Her life, soon to be ended, in repayment for those live, lives taken by her own hands..._

…People were advancing on her, from where she sat, tears mingling with blood, dripping in a sick mixture along the side of her face. Their hands were shaking as they held up weaponry, as if they could somehow ward off the power she possessed. Lucy turned to one, eyes bright, and alive again, face resembling that of someone deliriously happy. The men stopped in their tracks. She was smiling, smiling to herself, as the blood kept coming.

Her vectors wove around the group, like a tainted magic spell. The men could not see them, so she was relatively safe. Her control over them was weakened, she let them roam, learning the exact shape of their bodies, as still they kept coming. Lucy tried not to touch any of them, but, as she began to lose consciousness, she found her mind wandering, back over her life…

… To something that shouldn't have ever been.

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**A/N;** O.o I have nooooo idea.

Enjoy.

Sorry. My beta couldn't make this one, he's still on Versteckt. I HATE to leave you all hanging \  



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